Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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