Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
