I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
