She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
