I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
