Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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