it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
