How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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