the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Gay?
German.
Pity.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
