idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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