that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
