I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
