I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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