I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize