Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
