I smell stomach acid.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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