oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
