Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
