My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I want her autograph on my taint
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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