your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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