Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
