I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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