this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
