i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
