they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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