im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
When did angry sex become our thing?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
