I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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