Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
