she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
