"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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