Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
