remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
