you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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