HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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