Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
