so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
