i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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