i love accidental penises.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just had sex on a roof
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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