Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
