Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot

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(845): View more from New York

you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage

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(770): View more from Georgia

How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?

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(479): View more from Arkansas

That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.

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(410): View more from Maryland

SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Don't text me with that hand

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(204): View more from Manitoba

God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's

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(718): View more from New York

I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms

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