You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Actions speak louder than pants.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
