There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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