Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
