dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize