Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

actually, I'm a sock model

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???

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(917): View more from New York City

I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close

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(740): View more from Ohio

I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.

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(707): View more from California

She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.

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(626): View more from California

I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.

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