there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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