apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
