just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
