My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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