I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize