Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
