WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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