You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
