Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
