Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
