Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
