Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I need water and some morals
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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