Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
