i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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