It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
In America we eat man semen.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
