his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
