I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Fuck appropriateness.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
