Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize