I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
