are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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