how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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