The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
