Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Randomize
