i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
