the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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