What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
