Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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