Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
