What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
