I am puke
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
